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Halloween Pics of Optimus Prime Costume!

In a huge hurry to get some things done, but had to post these of my lil' man's Optimus Prime Halloween Costume. My Mother in Law is amazing...she made this is THREE DAYS! Go Mimi!

Tate Love it and had a BLAST! Enjoy the pics, and I will post tomorrow with an update on our crazy life!

 

 

That is his Mimi in the pics. I still am in shock over this costume. FYI, the wheels were from remote control cars and the pipes on his shoulders were REAL plumbing fixtures! Take care!!

In Him!
WS

An Artist's Nightmare..But It IS Okay!

Good (no, wonderful!) morning to you all! Hope it is going to be a great day for each of you!

So, many of you know that I am a big fan of not letting anyone steal your joy.

Which is why I reserve the right to delete rude comments from my blog.

When someone comments I am adding to the (oh yea, i'm quoting here) "Dumbing down of America", and use two aliases, I am going to delete their comments.

If they are unable to leave their real name after making such rude statements, why should I keep the rude (and oh so silly) comment up?

My real name is here...shouldn't someone that states such a thing leave it under their real name? I think so, therefore, I deleted it. Much to the dismay of the poster, who returned with another alias.

It's just silly and someone who (obviously) has a bone with me.

But won't leave their real name.

 

Ironic given the circumstances of my last post.

Lordy, let's move on.

So, I wanted to share something with you and ask for your prayers.

My hands...mainly, my dominant right hand. Please pray for me as I am having some pretty painful issues.

I am currently in physical therapy for some tendon issues. Oringally, and one of the reason i left WSD, was that I had rhemitoid arthritis. I was pretty much diagnosed before my blood work came back. I tested positive for this many years ago, but thought it was a fluke. I brushed it off as I did not have too many issues. I ended up having surgery on both hands, three weeks apart, for carpal tunnel. I thought it was the end of it.

I have had issues ever since. However, this past winter, the pain was beyond anything I had felt. I could feel it in the bones. That's the only way I can describe it.

It was difficult to do anything with my hands. More less, create. I think a nightmare for anyone that is an artist would be to have something effect your dominate hand. So, I laid off.

It kept getting worse and worse, to the point that I think I must have broken at least 50 plates/glasses. I was dropping everything...the grip in my right hand was going fast.

I was sent for some pretty extensive tests to see if my thumb muscle was dying.

Okay, can we just talk about this test?

I cower just writing about it!
The test is called a electromyogram. They took a needle, place it into my hand in various places. Then, they essentially "shock" the needle to measure nerve reactions.

Um, yea.
Ever hand a needle in your hand? SO HURTS.
And I'm diabetic...so I am very much used to needles.

I am seeing a doctor in Austin, who specializes in the hand. He has even treated Willie Nelson, so I feel really comfortable and trust him a lot.

I am in physical therapy for two reasons. One is for my right thumb, of which has Trigger Finger (this website really explains it and has videos. I encourage ALL CRAFTERS/ARTISTS TO LOOK AT THIS SITE...because this condition often effects hobbyists because we use so many repetitive motions). Now, because of the severity of my situation, it looks like I will be moving forward with the surgery.

My last visit at my physical therapist (if you are in Austin or surrounding area, this is THE  MAN! His name is Dr. Bob Moore. INCREDIBLE.) he informed me that I should opt for the surgery at this point. My thumb on my right hand is locked...it does not extend upward anymore.

And it is very, very painful.

My elbow, which has suffered a great deal, we are still working on. I think all the overcompensating I did due to my grip, of which I only have 40% of in my right hand, effected and caused the tendon issues in my elbow.

And it is a hard thing to get rid of as well.

The physical therapy for my elbow is beyond excruciating. On thing...he takes a metal stick, that looks much like a paper scorer, and after applying a gel, he takes the metal stick and moves back and forth quickly on my front upper forearm. Um. Seriously,, the most painful thing.

Ever had something so painful it takes your breath away? Well, this is one of those things. I want to gag just thinking about it.

 

BUT
It is working. Before, it was so painful to even pick up a glass. And, I actually had to get rid of my SUV because i could not get the keys out of the ignition when i turned the car off.

Yes, that bad. But I did get a new car that has the "push key start"... it allows you to fire up your car's   engine without the hassle of key insertion. Seriously, best thing ever. If you have these issues, i highly recommend looking into the "key fob". You get in the car, push in your "key" (of which looks nothing like a key, but more like a keychain) push the brake and push a button to start your car. LOVIN' IT! I just wish it had not come to the point of something being so bad that i could not get my keys out of the ignition.

However, God is good. I know that he is leading me through it all. I know that through this, i am learning and digesting it all.

I have spent many of days crying and asking why and how this could happen. The Lord knows I am an artist and he knows it is my passion.

So how, how could this happen?  My right hand? My right arm?  I need it so desperately.
Why.
Is.
This.
Happening?

I don't believe it comes from him. I just don't. I think He has led me to the absolute best doctors and I thank him with my whole heart for it.

But i need to take better care of myself. I push myself. Too much. I felt the nag of it all during WSD. But i kept pushing.

And pushing.
And pushing.
And pushing.

Until one day, i woke up with a 60% loss of my right hand.
I encourage you all to NOT do what I did.

Do not push the limit on something that could greatly effect you.

The most painful part of all of this is NOT about my artistic restrictions at this point.
It's about Tate.

One night, we were at the beach. Tate was in the bathtub and I was preparing to get him out. The bathtub was old, and to drain it, you had to push one of those bars in. I went to push it and it didn't budge. I knew it wasn't because it was all that difficult, but rather, just difficult for me.

So I asked Tate to push it in.
And he did with all his might.
And he slipped on the spout and went throat first into it.

I was HORRIFIED because I just knew, judging by the force of it, that he was really hurt.
I reached to pick him up ever so quickly.
He was wet.
He was slippery.
And he was heavy.

Too heavy for me.
I did not have the strength to pick him up.

I screamed for Mike, and he came to our rescue.
Tate had actually hit his cheek, thankfully not his throat as I originally thought. Left quite the bruise on him.

But i broke down.
My son needed me and I could not get him out.
The what if's ran over and over all night long.

It crushed me. And i knew at that point, I needed to get all the help I could...because what if Mike had NOT been there?

I shudder to think.
So i just move forward knowing that if I pray, listen and remain obedient it will all work itself out. But I have to take action. I cannot sit and wait. I must take all the necessary steps to make it all better.

And I feel confident it will.
But the cold has arrived...and oh, does my body dislike the pain it brings.

Thank God for Advil!
And I thank God that I am at a place in my  life where all of this is just okay.
I will get through it.
I know I will.

I think I am going to elect to do the surgery after the holidays. I don't want to  add any other stress to a time where I am already stressed out enough:) I keep praying for a miracle, but move forward knowing that if it does not come, i have alternatives.

Funny...
I certainly didn't think this was going to be what I blogged about today. But here I sit. Funkied up thumb and all.
You know what?
It's okay.

That's all i keep hearing.
And I know who it is.

I feel blessed to hear Him speaking to me. What an incredible gift I have been given this morning.
From Him.
Telling me...
It's okay.

And you know what?
It is.

-ws

 

Yesterday was incredible. Tate has finally gotten into a Pre-K program at a private school we found. We could not be more thrilled as it is a Christian school that will help him to build his foundation around Christ. How awesome is that?

Mike and I decided, after consulting our families, to hold Tate back a year. It has nothing to do with his intelligence, but rather, his maturity level. Because he has been at home with me for so long, we want to ease him into the classroom.

What was interesting when I was considering holding him back, I found that many parents of boys have been moving this direction. It made sense for us because most boys are a bit less mature than girls.

My biggest fear in dealing with Tate's immaturity and him attending school was not only his sensory integration disorder, but, the idea that he would be one of those children that just walked out of the school. The amount of freedom offered just was not something I was comfortable with...because I know my child and I know his boundries.

We prayed about this long and hard.

Then, the answer to prayer came last week when we began the enrollment process. I found out yesterday that Tate and I will have our interview with the Principal today at 1:30! Please pray for us:) We are hoping to have him in on Monday.

Pre-K!

The school goes through 12th grade. Mike and I are hoping to keep him there as long as possible. I like the idea of small classrooms (no more than 15!) and love it that he will have bible classes daily. They make it very fun for the kiddos and it's more like home in that they pray and talk about Christ in the classroom. This is such a good thing for our family! Rock on!

Even better is that he has to wear a uniform...nothing stuffy...a polo style knit and khaki or navy dockers. Know how easy this will make the "picking out of clothes" in the  morning!?!? Yahoo.

I did sneak around yesterday on the Black Wagon website. I am in love with these tattoo rain boots for Tate. How adorable are these!?!?!

I think they might look girly though, so I cannot decide if i want to order them or not. I so wish they had the same pair in black instead of  blue. But these rock. So glad I do not have a little girl, because I would be flat broke with the amount of adorable things out there for them!

Walter, Bacon & Eggs...and Yea, I believe it IS Crooked.

 My response to my blog/drama from yesterday follows my tales of a fabulous day...the day was so much more important...which is why it gets first billing. I will tell you this though...the follow up might be a tough pill for some to swallow...meaning I saw some things that might ruffle a few feathers. It is not my  intent, but it is inevitable. I don't want to hurt anyone out there, but I do want to validate those that think the industry is..well, not so on the up and up. They are MY opinions and MY experience. I hope it helps anyone seeking more knowledge for whatever reasons, hopefully for the sake of realize you are NOT alone in your thoughts and you are NOT insane. You are most likely, very accurate in your assumptions. But, who will ever really know?  Not me! Cause I am SO done with it:)

Now, i get to create JUST TO CREATE...and i love it.

Tate and I hammed it up and i got a couple of pics of it all. He's so growing up...sniff. He asked me if something was wrong when he came downstairs yesterday. It was funny, because after my morning post, I  just knew that no, something was actually oh so right!

I could not wait to start the rest of my day with him.

I  must say, his passion for art is coming on strong...he "doodles" on a dry erase board in the car.

Yesterday, he drew a new one. Frankenstein. Oh yea, complete with scars on Frank's face and all. I was ever so proud.

He furthered his display of creativity with the placing of his Halloween pumpkin as a mask for his face. I found it hilarious. I am glad I snapped a few off of his silly behavior. I have no idea where he gets it.

So, anyway...we went shopping...and i found some on the most awesome things. I have to share with yall.

So My favorite thing we picked up was Do You Doodle? Although it was in the kiddos section, and although I said I was getting it for Tate, somehow it has (thankfully) made it's way into my little creative nook of the house.

Seriously, the coolest coloring book ever.

It will push your creativity...even though it says ages 4-8...it's for ALL ages. I mean, how often do you run across an image of an arm in a coloring book with the header, "Draw me a tattoo"...

Endless fun.  Endless creativity by yourself or  someone else. It's almost like you want to call dibs on some of the pictures because you don't want someone to beat you to it.  This book is a must.  Check out the site of the artist/author Nikalas Catlow, where he also has some inside the book samples!

I know, the bandages are ever so silly. But they cracked me up. Tate and I often refer to "us" as bacon and eggs...so we both cracked up when we saw them.

Rats. No cuts, no specific need for them, other than they were just too unique to pass up.

Bacon and Eggs Bandages.
Seriously.

Next up, Hairy Gary. Mindless entertainment at it's finest, and I love it. I remember these type things from back in the day...when I was little...holy crap we LOVED these things...move the magnetic metal shavings to restore lost hair on the man...or make up your own hair-doos. Hysterical. Tate thought he would love it..but after a couple of times, he was so over it. Snag. All mine.

And for the grand finale...the end of, ahem, all ends to our shoppin', we purchased the lovable, famous, always hero of the moment WALTER DOLL! Not just ANY Walter...but Walter the Farting Dog. Let me tell you, the Walter the Farting Dog books by William Kotzwinkle and Glenn Murray are hysterical.

Seriously. Hysterical. If you do not have any of them, do yourself and your family a huge favor and pick one up.

So back to the Walter the Farting Dog plush Tate found. Here's the funny thing...when you squeeze him, he, ah, farts.

Yes, farts.
So Tate hands it to me and we are dying laughing and move on with me holding Walter to ensure he makes his way to the check out line with us. Well, I kept seeing more and more cool things and kept bending down with Walter in my hand.

Bad idea.

Everytime I did this bending down with Walter in tow, it would put pressure on his little sound thing. Ya know, the FARTING ONE.

So I kept dying of embarrassment and saying, ever so loudly, "That was Walter".

I know people thought it was me.

The horror. This one lady did not even crack a smile...because I know she thought I had ripped one right there on the floor of the kids section.

So i felt SO DUMB when I was like, "That was Walter"...assuming she had seen the Walter dolls.

Guess not.

Cause she shot a look and turned away as if to say, "You so just farted and are trying to blame a stuffed dog."

I am STILL laughing about it.

So, before I go into the drama side of my post, I thought I would give you a giggle and tell you that I did have an amazing day. It was really, really an opportunity to remind myself why I stepped out and away for so long. Simply put, I needed it. The bacon & eggs band aids and farting dogs bring so much more to my life than a company ever could for me. It's just the way I am.

----now, as for the drama-----

I want to address a few things:)

So I went off a bit yesterday.

Just to clarify...and then...i will be moving on from it all.

Okay, clarity begins.
Linda was correct (emailing you!!!) in her comments to Jennifer ( i think? ) when she said that I was basically pointing out those who are so worked up about the HOF issues.

But...
I was also referring to the never ending drama where one person is hunted for prey.

I have been hunted. And I have seen others go through the mud as well. It really is such a silly thing...but, i was pointing out that it is usually the same group of people on the slug fest...and some of them won't even do it under their real names. Why?

Um.
Let's just say I know for a fact why one of them doesn't.

I should  not even throw that out there, except to warn each and every one of you that you just NEVER KNOW who is out there...and that sometimes, the people you least suspect of ugliness...the ones  you look up to the most could be the same person that takes delight in tearing down anyone that poses a threat to their royal crown.

I will say that Jennifer had a good point...i was not "looking at it as the regular scrapbooker" when I stated my thoughts.

Rather, I was coming from the standpoint of someone that has been in the industry and knows a small bit of the absolute truth to what people are now beginning to figure out. The industry, I believe, is crooked. It's loaded with people that have no clue what decency is.

Honestly.
There is a leading website.
With a leading design team.

And it's been that way for how long? And...if you happen to, albeit not knowingly, step on the toes of anyone related to it you will have a big marker on your head.

Can I prove it? Um, no.
But, I can tell you from experience that it appears that way to me on many levels.

But they go forward.
And we should too.

I do not buy products from the sites that, in my opinion, act as if they are doing us some huge favor by allowing us to visit and shop for their products.

I do not buy products from companies that have so obviously ripped off ideas from others.

You just kinda remember the first place you see something hit. If it hits a second time from another company, I feel insulted for the artist that came up with the idea in the first place.

Be original people.
Even in the naming of their product lines they will reference a word that was created by the mind of the original designer.

Knowing that the original designer knows them...and even in some instances, "knew" them via emails and/or phone calls.

I was in no  way supporting CK. Matter of fact, I swore off their magazine three years ago.  Why? Because a digital layout of mine was picked up by them. When contacted, I was treated very poorly. Once again, it went back to that feeling that they were doing me a favor. The woman pointed out all my incorrect spellings, in a way that a child feels when a teacher has shamed them in the class.

One of my biggest regrets in all my years in the field, was that I corrected that layout and sent it back to them.

Know what? Never again.
I laugh now because anyone that knows me, knows I cannot spell worth a flip. I refuse to stop in the middle of a heartfelt journaling or blogging only to "check" to see if I have spelled a word right. I figure, it's not worth losing the train of thought. Because I am not blogging to show my language skills...I am blogging to be real.

Misspellings and all.
Now, i understand why she wanted them corrected. But I cannot for the life of me realize why changing my son's layout for the sake of CK was okay with me. It just is not about that crap to me.

Honestly.
It's not.
If it was about fame, notoriety, supplies, "celeb" status, I would have continued on with WSD. Consumers were NOT our problem. They were an absolute delight as a matter of fact.

But what made me change by tune (in addition to all the hand issues) was that we were busting our butts to be FIRST with our designs...thinking that a larger company would pick them up. We thought they did. We thought we would be in Target and QVC. That was such a high.

But then it dawned on us.
They didn't need us.
None of the large companies needed us.
Were they inspired by our designs?
That's a decision for you to make.
Me?
I feel confident they were.

So the point is, the crap that is going on in the industry is NOT shocking to me AT ALL. It's something I knew from the day I was the first Digital Company on the scene at GASC. A woman came over from a large company, saying, and yes, this is a quote, "I was told to come see what you are doing and how you are doing it."

It was not because they were supporting us, let's just put it that way.
And the magazines, boy, did they come calling. The digital era was rising. We were floored. I launched anklebiter designs and was contacted by some of the biggest players in the industry where i so willingly spilled the beans about our plans... Naively thinking that this was going to be the ride of a lifetime.

And it was...still is...but not for us.

So, to say that we disappeared for obvious reasons is certainly understandable.
Then the stamps/WSD was equally successful years later.

And the same issues arose again.

Spill.
Wow.
Spill, Wendi Spill.

Perhaps more later, but I wanted to back up and state how/why i want it known that i was not in any way defending an industry that has let so many down.

And I certainly don't want to be a part of it.

Do I think things will change? My honest opinion? No. Again, in my opinion, the system is working, being followed and led by the same groups...and did you ever happen to notice that it is the same groups just about everywhere you turn in the scrapbooking industry? The people the groups endorse or befriend are usually the ones that end up a part of it all.

People might think I am crazy for assuming this. I don't mind. I usually hold back and don't want to hurt anyone...but you know what? I'm sick of seeing others get hurt. Others that think they are really onto something only to have something taken from them...and with a smile...because the wall of protection around them is so strong...the support is so strong...that no one dared say something, gasp, that could
  I see it as a sad state of where the industry is going. Because no matter what the talent, what the product or what the rules...the leaders are the same. They have always been the same (at least the past five years.)

I believe that the people/owners that hold the top spots, hold the reins.

The place is solidified and defined by those that feel they must please the "leaders" for the sake of selling their products. I'd much rather close my doors and walk away with my integrity than play the games that are the polar opposite of what this industry SHOULD be about. I refuse to swallow my dignity for the sake of selling or buying a product. Period.

I will not ever compromise my moral integrity for the sake of fame, recognition or for my products landing on the isles of a big box store. My dignity means far too much to me..and I want to walk the way He wants me to...not the way the "leaders"of the scrapbook industry want me to. 

I don't need the industry or the leaders to define me. I refuse to kiss the butt of those in the power positions. Perior.  And how sad for the many, many people in this industry that are willing to make that sacrifice.

I applaud you all that are taking a stand.

I hope it will change.

I am so over all of this for now because it is just a shame.
And shame on the ones that made it this way.

-ws

Insert Carnival Music Here. Loop.

Yea, cause that is what it feels like.

A big, crowded, dirty, smelly carnival.

You know the type.

Loud.
Hectic.
Seemed like a good idea at the time kind of fun.

So this morning, I decided I want to stay home.
Not attend the carnival.
Stay clean.
Stay peaceful.
Stay true to who I am.

My mom and i were talking last night about my situation. We both laughed knowing i don't have it in me to "out" people. I just don't. I could type the names a million times yet never publish the truth.

As bad as I want to, something keeps me from it.

"Whether you turn to the right or to the let, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way; Walk in it." -Isaiah 30:21

Yea, i feel pretty confident that the verse above is what keeps me from it.

Here's the thing. I had no idea some big "scandal" was happening with the Hall of Fame contest. Quite frankly, I think it is actually a pretty silly deal.

Let me clarify.
No, I don't take anything away from those that entered the contest and are really upset. But what about the people that didn't even enter the contest and are enraged...ranting...devoting such enormous portions of their days to being angry about it?

Come on, really.
I see people saying, "She Cheated!" I feel so strange...like, embarrassed for them because it sounds so silly...juvenile. Cheating? That's a little harsh given the circumstances and situation at hand.

When i read a "She Cheated!" post i don't even glance over at the poster's user name.

Why?
Because I don't even want to know who said it due to the fact that it just might be someone I respected before.

Look, I do not know the HOF winners...I've been out of the loop for so long, and quite frankly, I usually know people by their user names and not their real names. However, I know Kristina Contes now. I have looked at her amazing work. She is incredibly talented. I even found  my way over to her blog. Gasp, people were saying, "her language is horrible."....couldn't help but wonder if these were the same people saying "Right On!" to Donna Downey's post exclaiming, "SHIT!"....I love Donna think she is amazingly talented...and oh so real. Isn't that why we adore her? She's real.

Just as Kristina Contes was being in her recent post regarding the HOF contest.

So in the disqualification, the photo was the issue?
Who is really to blame for it?
I would be willing to bet this has happened a number of times. I would also be willing to bet that rules have been violated in the past, most likely by an adored artist that entered. Did people dare not say anything then? If  not, why? If so, why? Isn't this really about something else all together for those that are making this SUCH AN UGLY DEAL?
In the grand scheme of things, who really cares? Who devoted such a large portion of their lives on being angry about it? Is it time that could have been better well spent?
Why become so engulfed in something that really has no real effect on our lives?

Is it for some people, you know the ones, an opportunity to rip on someone talented?

I think so.
Too often, the really talented artists will be ripped to shreds. When it starts, it is as if the angry beasts jump out of their bushes and attack their prey. The have silently stalked them, having no ability to look away from their beautiful work. They cannot look away from the pages of compliments that their prey has received. The prey...the enemy...for what? Talent? The moment the first hunter jumps out, the pack is on it like they have never eaten before.

The head that hangs low now lifts in justification: Aha! It was not just me! The "leader" has attacked and now we must destroy.

Attack.
Bite.
Pull.
Make it Hurt.
Make 'em bleed with regret that they ever stepped foot in front of us.
Shred.
Humiliate.
And finally, sit back in the "sun" and let it all digest.
While the broken prey wonders if they will ever recover.

But they rise.
And the pack?
They cannot believe their eyes.
How?
How can they rise again?
How can they be so brave as to show us their strength?

The prey knows.
The pack is weak.
That is why they travel in a pack.
For without each other...
they stand alone.

Cowards.
Silent.
Resentful.
Wishing they had what the prey has...

Talent.
Strength.
Dignity.
Integrity.
For the prey? They are true to themselves.
They do not need a pack.

And the hunters?
I pray that one day they will know the pride that comes from strength.
For with it, you can stand alone.

You can experience joys you never imagined.
You can lift people up...vs. tearing them down...and realize how much more comes from it.
You can surround yourself with good...and fewer your friends may be, but your life will overflow with meaning.

Understanding.
Kindness.
Faith.
Gratitude.

In light of all that is going on in my life and others with regards to the industry, I end this with a final though for those that are being preyed upon as well as for the hunters...

They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil. They are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things....they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them." -Romans 1:29-32

Which "side" will you be on today?
Me?

Well, let's just put it this way...I woke up, ignored my computer, spent my morning making halloween french toast...which was a blast and such a treat for my son. Making him feel extra special in that way feels so good. Seeing the look on his face...the surprise, the happiness...the laughter and the heartfelt, "thank you mommy!" is what life is about.

It is the best place for me to find happiness. Not a contest. Not in outing others for their wrong doings.

It's living this life for the things that are truly important. It's taking in every morsel of self respect, and solidifying yourself as the wonderful mother and friend  you are and can be...if you are willing to shun the drama..and create your own daily destiny.

It's finding the joy in the little things...but the only place they may seem small is for others. Me? I know that a halloween breakfast when it is not halloween is not a little thing to a five year old boy.

I know that soaking in the sunshine might be a little thing to others, but as I sat there today, watching Tate dig for God knows what, I reveled in the beauty of it all....A little boy,, with his dogs...playing. This is life I thought.

This is what truly effects me. This. Not harping on something that is really...well, just not important to me today.

Often i am asked what inspires me. It's never drama. It's never watching someone else's anger. It's not resentments or past hurts.

It's life.
It's realizing one day will to look back, and think...what "little" things do i wish I would have done more often? It's what this morning was about. And I must say, I have never, ever felt so strongly about a lesson...because it came so quietly...and so profoundly.

Life is what we make it.
Life is about choices.
Hard choices.

It's about being hunted.
It's about being the prey that can slowly recover and move forward...onward if you will...into the hope that there is so much more for us than this live.

It's living a life the way we know we should. And teaching our children the same. Who would I want Tate to see me as? The angry blogger that blasts what happened and who did it? Or the person that will rise, quietly walk away with a head held high, because I know the person I am...and where I am going today.

And at the moment.
It's outside.
To revel in the greatness of it all.
Because my choices today...excuse me from turmoil.
The offer me joy.
With my son.
Why would I want choose anything else today?

I don't.
So I am on my way out.

I hope you are too.
-ws

Liars and Thieves and Artists, OH MY

Do me a huge favor, would you?

If you know our stamps or even own some, tell me, have you noticed designs that are strikingly similar to our stamps, but are NOT our stamps?

We have noticed it too.

And quite frankly, we are sick of big name companies, websites and designers taking credit for our work.

What about you? Happened to you? Or have you just "seen" it happen to us or others?

We want to know.

Post it here or send an email to us . You are more than welcome to do it anon.

We have gotten a huge response alone just from our posting about what is happened to us.

But we are not going away quietly. Perhaps a little humility goes a long way. Perhaps being "outed" will lead them to think twice about doing this to anyone else again.

I'm over it. I watched this industry from "behind the scenes" for a long time. First, with my digital scrapbooking designs (as many of you know) and lastly with my stamp designs.

And it is the reason we and so many others are disgusted by the industry and some of the big names in it. I remember the scandal that happened a while back with a now famous designer. She is one I realllly admire and think is a wonderful artist and person. She had showed her designs to someone ( i even think they were HOF entries but i could be mistaken), and that "artist" she had showed them to turned around and created design/s based on the secret design she had seen. That's how I remember it. It was a thread on twopeas many years ago.

Point being, that person that claimed to be an artist created designs based on the true artists' designs...and know what? The person that was the peeker/taker went on to be a hall of famer. By the time her year had come as a HOFer, the scandal was forgotten by many.

But I remember. I remembered the scandal because I knew it was not the first time the person had been accused of being inspired by another only to pitch it as her own.

When you have SALT you have PEPPA. Read between the lines. For those that know the reference here, I hope that you will know more will come.

It is horrible the way some of these people will chew you up and spit you out...as if you don't exist, and as if you won't "know" or "find out"...Believe me, I have experienced first hand who some of the bullies in the industry are, and I think those that don't know would be extremely surprised to find out who.

Am I bitter today?
Yes, I am.
Am I spewing at the mouth?
You bet.
But my gosh,, since when would one person step over another and disgrace themselves in the name of fame?
Aren't they reminded, every time they are congratulated, that they are being congratulated for something THEY DID NOT CREATE?

Do they really think people won't notice?
Well, I notice.
And I don't forget.
And I remind myself that it is that type of person that I never want to be.

A thief
A liar
and a person so deathly afraid of putting myself out there that I will steal to gain the fame i want but do not deserve.

I worked hard.
With my digital stuff and with my stamps.

God helped me with all of this.
He helped me sort through it.
He helped me to understand that it is okay to be angry.
But that I need to work through it.
And I'm trying.
So hard.
Do this, Wendi.
Let it go.
But before you do, let others know that it is OKAY to stand up to the cliques. It is OKAY to let them know they wronged you. That is what will make you stronger...knowing that you took a stand.

And are not okay with their rewards of your hard work.

I'm off on an a rant that is just making me appear the way I feel.
Bitter and Angry.
I should go pray.
Sigh.
I don't want to be this angry person today.

Before I go, a question...
Would you out them?
What would you do?
What do you see in the industry?

Good to be back...real good:)
ws

She's baaackkk...and EVERYTHING!

Thanks for all the emails!!!

You all made me feel great...and even better about my last post.

Enough of that though! I have to share the *most incredible thing* with you!

I was emailed a link to an incredible video a couple of weeks ago. At first, i didn't quite understand...but please watch it all the way through...it's one of the most powerful things I have ever seen! I know I was overcome with emotion when I saw it and wanted to pass it on to everyone I know! Know, I want to share it with you and hear what all of you think!

Here it is: Everything

Please let me know if you found it as powerful as I did!

Rock on!
I'm off to bake Halloween cookies (again!) with little man Tate. We actually held Tate back from kindergarten this year...he was not ready, we felt, and so I have him at home with me still. I thank the Lord everyday for that gift!!! I'll post pics of our creations tomorrow!

Until then, don't let anyone steal your joy today:)

-ws

Hands Off!

So here I sit, basically refreshing myself with the type pad composing thing.

I miss it.
I am glad to be back.

Mostly because i love to sit and translate the never ending thoughts running around my head. Often, the negatives try to creep in...i smother them with laughter.

Because laughter, they say, is the best medicine, right?
Right?
Tell me it is!

Long story short...my hands have suffered devistating blows and the right hand is especially damaged. Make that right ARM/HAND.

I will discuss it at length later this week, but let's just say it has really challenged me creatively.

All those little details that I love to create in collage have slipped thought the cracks...of my hands, that is! However, i am thrilled to have taken up painting these days...i love it. I love the creative outlet . I love that I create them for no one's approval rather than my own...and that feels so good. There is so much more creative freedom for me.

Just because I am limited on what I can do creatively does not mean i will EVER give up on returning to the collage driven little pieces of work...i know that one day I will be able to.  It would be way to easy to throw myself a pity party...but what is the fun in that? Instead, I look at this situation as an awesome opportunity to let God show me and lead me to a place where I can learn new things.

For me.
To express myself.
And believe me, I have a lot to say!

I have had tests that they actually stick a needled down into the nerve of the hand, and then SHOCK the NEEDLE to see if my thumb muscle has started it's process of dying.

But those needles will not stop me.
They didn't with my diabetes, why should they with my creativity?

WSD was the run of my life. We saw so much:

The opportunities.
The shams.
The theft of our creations.
The heartfelt emails or notes we would receive on a daily basis.
The encouragement.
The cruelty.
The support.
The Love.
The friendships.

I walk the isles of Wal-Mart and Target and have to snicker when I see something that was so directly a lift of our hard work. The hours we spent hammering out designs, the hours that were taken from our families in an effort to be the "first" to launch a specific idea for designs.

We were approached by a company to have our kits and stamps in Target and on QVC. It did not pan out for reasons unknown to us. We were told they were interested for the Fall. Did not happen.

However, i have noticed kits in Target...and some stamp designs that bare a striking resemblance to our lines. Odd how that works.

Were we frustrated? Did we exchange phone calls? Did we receive them? You bet. But you know what? We just had to walk in faith. We had to trust that where we are today is exactly where we are supposed to be.

We reminded each other that all we did, we did from our creativity, inspired by our own creativity....we know that any artist out there does not ever want to "steal" the designs of others. Is it intentional? Some, yes, has to be. Others? Shrug, with names as big as theirs we would hope it was subconscious.

But come on, what would anyone think?

The scrabooking industry is a beast in itself. It can turn you into a person you never dreamed you would be. A rock star...but....one that stands with very few, who actually know that so many of the things that go on are downright wrong.

The gossip.
The cruel intentions.
The absolute disregard for people on a humane level.
Ever been a target of one of those "two peas" threads? If you have, you know the humiliation and shame that you feel when you read the outright lies written about you. The hilarity is that some will scream for you to show yourself, defend yourself.

Buwahhh haa haa...um, right?
Why throw yourself right in the middle of an
I'm so bored I need to lash out at someone I don't know. I will spew hate and skew their words to work against them. I will return, minute after minute to check and see what I can respond to in an effort to keep the thread goin'...hoping as many people see my words so that I can do my best to destroy the object of my attack. I will send emails to all of my friends to update them of the situation and giggle with them at the expense of another. I will lie, I will continue to lie, and I will act as if this person is the root of all evil in the world.

It makes me so sad for the object of the attack. One minute, they are smiling and on cloud nine about the encouragement and support they have gotten for their work and then **BAM** the talents that landed them a following of friends has just backfired...and the, ahem, others have come to attack...know what? Sometimes, we know who the regular "others" are...it's pretty easy to predict who will be on the bashing threads. Makes me sad for them...ya know, that they are ALWAYS there, always the ones so quick to push another down.

I frankly, got sick of it.
The industry.
The back stabbing.
The never ending lack of appreciation for free supplies sent in an effort to be "published" with four stars beside your product name in a magazine.

Just when did it become about $ and less about the art/family/friendships?

I'm not sure.
But I know this much...it was an industry I just did not feel myself growing as a person as I grew as a business.

It was turning me into a person I did not want to become. I would think, "Should I continue to push my hands way past their limit so that we can go through all that crap again?"...and the answer was a resounding NO.

I love the beautiful friendships I formed. But when you are looking over your shoulder at every turn, you have to ask yourself what is important here? Dignity or Recognition?

What would you choose?
What would make me a better person?
What would inspire me to grown as an artist?

Were we defeated?
No.
We walked away with our integrity.
Our designs?
Well, apparently companies and individuals figured they were up for the taking.
Shrug. What could we do?

So in closing (ha!) let me say this....At the root of all depression, dependence and chaos, the ultimate cause is usually lonlieness (think Britney Spears!)...my Preacher talked about it the other day. When we stand alone...we are cold. When their are two, we are warm.

So the Lord helped guide me. I had to ask myself if it was worth continuing. I chose not to. I chose to step back and grow in faith, instead of being blinded by success. It was not worth it to me.

And I feel like I was validated as I walked the halls of Wal-Mart and Target, starring at designs Sunday and I worked so hard to create. I felt blessed, to stand there, looking at them, and simply choose to not let it bother me in a way it would have if I was still doing WSD.

My relationships have blossomed...because I am surrounded by those that really know me. I walk in faith everyday and make a promise to myself to always remember that I am a teacher to my son. I  must know that the most important lessons that I can pass down will be the ones that were the hardest for me to learn.

And I feel certain, that of all the lessons I have learned about myself, this is one of those that I continue to grow from everyday.

And that, my friends, is the rest of the story!
Um, except my hands, which is what got the ball rollin' on my thoughts! I will post about that eventually, but as for now, this just feels right:)

xo
WS

returning soon.

the return.
kinda.

i am not re-launching wsd.
i have no company to "promote".

it's just me,
being me.
for no other reason than to do just that.

ah, the freedom i will have to actually express my views on things in a way where i will not have to hold back for the sake of "not harming the business".

ah, the freedom of allowing myself to just type it all into words.

I am great.
Doing great, although I have had my "bumps" (which I will explain), I am stronger than ever.

As far as creating art?
Um.
Sometime life throws us a little curve ball.
I will let you know how I dealt with mine. (and continue to do so)

This is now just a place for me to be me. nothin' more.
God asked me to return.
Not sure why,
But as reluctant as I am to do it...i will simply be obedient...and let him lead me the whole way.

ah.
yep, returning soon.

-ws
9/27/07

Miracle Times Two

This morning it is beautiful...hard to believe considering we had a major storm here last night...complete with loud, roaring thunder; crazy lightening and nickel size hail.

Huh?
Yep, it was scary...but almost...ready for this?....almost fun.

The power went out for a couple of hours, so we made out way to Jen's house. With the power out, our first thought was, "What about Ana Garvey?".

Many of you that read my blog know that Ana Garvey is the (beautiful, precious!) little girl of our neighbors, Mary Claire and Steven. She has a rare condition...but let me say this...this girl is amazing. Ready? Get this...and how awesome our God is.

When Ana G. was born, smary claire and steven found out she suffered from a rare condition in which the tip of her 5th chromosome was missing.

Ofcourse, as anyone can imagine, this was frightening and overwhelming for Mary Claire and Steven...for their first born was here (premature, but here!)...however, joy never escaped them...even when some around them tried to steal their joy.

The Doctor (ahem, if you can call him that) told the proud parents to take ana garvey home and "call hospice"...that she would never develop into a "normal" child. This man honestly wanted Mary Claire and Steven to take their little girl home to die. (Side note: I wonder if other parents out their were given this advice...and followed it? Scary, huh?)

So, did Mary Claire and Steven do as the doctore (ick, ahem) recommended....did they take Ana G, home to die?
Did they do that?
No way.

Instead, they scooped that sweet little girl up, took her home and showered her with love, devotion, faith and an undying determination to defy the odds and witness a miracle.

And boy did they ever...and all of those around this family are blessed to watch the miracle unfold on a daily basis.

This little miracle, whom we call Ana G., is defying the odds. I cannot tell you how choked up i got the other day when I went by to see them all in Jen's front yard...and standing before me...well, actually, just cruisin' by me....was little Ms. Ana G....walking around with all the other children.

Walking.
She was walking.
Smiling.
She was smiling.
Miracle.
She was a miracle.

It was a moment I think I shall never forget. It was hope...on two little, tiny feet...walking around...laughing, loving and with a spirit that was absolutely infectious.

And then, I looked over to Mary Claire.
For this young mother...who has been through so much...with such integrity, faith, hope and absolute refusal to give up...what an amazing inspiration.

Holy cow, tears falling down my face as i type this.

For so many reasons.

I sit here thinking of how life will throw us all curve balls...honestly, if we lived our life without hardship and pain...we would have no room for growth...i'm a firm believer of that. For the most trying and troubling times in my life...have taught me the most.

My heart has been heavy for Mary Claire on many of nights. Not out of pity and certainly not out of saddness...but out of wishing there was something I could do to reach out to her...to help her in any way i was capable...but i could not find a real way that I could help.

So i sit here today...telling on a sliver of an amazing story. This mother...is a mother that should be recognized by so many as what a mother's love can do.

She is an inspiration to all those around her.
She, and her little miracle, Ana G.

So today, I sit here...wet faced from the emotion that reminds me how how fantastic our God is...for sending Ana G. to a family of faith...and hope...and love...so that she would show the world what miracles are really about. Unconditional Love.

Thank you Mary Claire, my friend, for reminding all of us of that today.
You, my friend, are the miracle as well.

xoxo
ws
(BTW: Mary Claire told me last night they are almost done with Ana G's website...so i will post a link as soon as it is up:) Also, looks like a documentary will be made about this amazing journey...so as soon as I have more details I will scoop you all!!)

**PRAYERS NEEDED**

This past weekend there was a trajic accident. A teacher at Tate's school has a 7 year old boy, Ziad, who was hit by a car.

While playing in the front yard, his ball rolled in the street. A car speeding through the neighborhood (estimated at 45 MPH) hit him and he was thrown 15 yards. Currently, he is in the ICU at Breckenridge hospital with a cracked skull and a brain bleed.

We ask that you all pray for Ziad. As soon as i  have further details, I will post them for you all.

Again, please pray for this little boy and his (wonderful) family.

Much love,

ws

Happy Monday!

So things are on the upswing here...i've started my hormone therapy and am so looking forward to results to begin. Cannot WAIT.

So...did ya see?

You know, the latest (April) issue of Scrapbook Answers mag? yep, we got one heck of a review. Matter of fact, we are having it framed:) It is something we are *so* proud of. It is so nice to be recognized in such a fab light...

i admit it...

I cried when I read it. Perhaps some will call it nothing short of hormonal...but I will tell you...it was simply such a great moment in my life. To be given such a rave review, by the hottest scrapbook mag around, was truly a moment for me...so many thanks SBA...you guys rock! (Ana...gimme a ring, chick!)

i am reading the *best* book right now.

ANyone out there followed the story of the West Memphis Three? Well, I got the book, Devil's Knot, which is about this intriguing story.I highly recommend this book. It's downright scary to know that this could happen in this day and age. It's scary to know that it is so obvious who the real killer is in this deal.

I had first seen the "West Memphis Three" topic when Henry Rollins had on a shirt that read, "Free the West Memphis Three"...intrigued, i went to google and began to read...and then saw the documentary on this story. It's unbelievable.

I don't want to give too much away, but you can visit their site by following this link.

Okay, i better run...much to catch up on and did i mention my son has gotten rowdier and rowdier as each day goes by?

Yep, he has...and just walked upstairs with FIVE, count 'em, FIVE cookies....so i must be a mom and take on the task of removing FOUR of them from his plate.\

argh. wish me luck.

x0x0x0

ws

Hello Al!
So, a little bit of news to report....i did go to my doctor's appointment and it does appear that I am going through what is called perimenopause.

How wierd is that?? I'm 34 years old.

No biggie, I suppose, as Mike and I knew that we were unable to have any more children. THat is totally okay, because this little boy we have will have as much love as our hearts can give him...and believe me when I say he's alll the child we need.

So, one thing i do want to point out is that the symptoms of perimenopause...

mood changes

changes in sexual desire

difficulty in concentrating

headaches

night sweats

hot flashes

sleep disturbances

joint and muscle aches

extreme sweating

frequent urination

similar symptoms as experienced with premenstrual syndrome (PMS)

ummmm...yea......that is me FOR SURE.

It's been a tough time for me, no doubt. Mainly because i honestly thought something was really wrong with me...now, the thing is, perimenopause can be brought on my autoimmune disorders...considering I am lucky enought to have two of those (juvenile diabets & thyroid disorder), i am thinking that is what caused this to occur.

The good news? I start my hormone therapy at the end of this week...which should help drastically. I cannot WAIT for this.

Okay, I am laughing as I type this...ya know, telling the world that i have started menopuase at such a young age...it sounds ridiculous, huh? I am just fired up to see if I can actually DRIVE UNDER A BRIDGE OR TAKE A LEFT HAND TURN with this medication. Now that, my friends, would really ROCK.

I have some funny pictures i am going to post tomorrow...seems Mr. Tate got a hold of my camera and took pictures (i am sure) of EVERYHTING in our home. They are HILARIOUS.

Yep, just as I type that, he has awoken from his nap and I must run.

God Bless...i will write more tomorrow.

xo

ws

Happy Monday!

Happy Monday!

So, I sit here thinking about all I want to blog about....and then quickly remind myself that there is a limted amount of time today...so i will give you all part of the scoop of what is up with WSD as well as me...on a personal level.

Let me say that the outpouring of support has been truly overwhelming.

OKAY...WAIT...SIDENOTE: If anyone out there has Allison Kimball's email, could you please send it my way? She sent me *the most beautiful* artwork you have *ever* seen. However, with my computer being wiped, I have no idea how to contact her and I'm desperate! (Translation? Hubby threw away the box it came in...arrrggggggg). Alison, girl, you ROCK and I cannot tell you how deeply it touched me to receive your beautiful gift....i have so much I want to say to you!

Um, sidenote over, but as i was typing I totally thought of that....and it's important...so thanks to anyone that can help me out:) Now...moving to the scoop....

What shall we start with? Business or Personal? Let's go with the biz side....

Many of you know we have made the decision to move to wholesale only. Well, as soon as we announced it, my computer crashed again. Nice.

Well, by the time I got my laptop back and all the new files for the webssite updated...we ran into another problem...our password for the server had been changed because we removed an old user....who happened to be the master account holder.

Nice....again.

So, finally, we get the new password emailed to us yesterday...(thank you LORD)...thus, we were able to update the site to reflect the changes.

The good news? We will be bringing back our monthy kits and our speciale deal on April 1st. This will be available to all of you if you want it:) Going to wholesale only will give us the time we need to really get into our creative flow and afford us the opportunity to concentrate on what we are good at....designing.

A lot happened to us over the past couple of months....we grew too fast too soon and things got overwheming. I remember one email specifically that Sunday received from someone who said we needed to take Business Courses.

Holy crap it was kind of a biting remark, hey? Well, the truth is, we started to look at things, talk with advisors and figure out that maybe we did need to evaluate where we wanted to go, how we wanted to get there and what it would take to make it all happen.

Our passion, first and foremost, is designing. We love it. It's our passion...our expression...it's just such a large part of who we are...2 Artists that, truthfully, are much better at designing than business. (BTW: Let me say that Sunday ROCKS at business...her suggestions, recommendations and vision are the *only* reason we are still around today!)

SO...with that said....part of the reason we have decided to go wholesale is also so that we may start designing for other companies...whether it is a custom stamp for a kit club, product design for a major company or simple logo/graphic design...it is something we are going to do within our business. We have been told that this is where are talents are..and I think people are right about that.

Sounds crazy, huh?

Well, I will tell you that we are following the answers we are receiving from the Lord. At times, it seems so all over them map...but the common demoninator is that design is what we love. Designing for others, reaching out...and just makin' it all happen for companies.

Including our own. So, here we are....still crankin' out the stamps...on a wholesale level for the majority of them...but bringing back the kits and speciale deal...and ofcourse we still offer our custom goodies. Now, we are just throwing our hat in the the ring to design for other companies now that we are capable of doing that. (ahhh..........i love it)

Many of you asked about the limelight and our MUSES. Many of our muses have stayed on with us on a "per project" deal...which is so exciting for us because the muses ROCK and we feel really fortunate that many of them will still be designing with us.

Okay, what else?

Oh......me. My life...let's see.....

I did return to the doctor last week and had (many) tests run to check the levels of my hormones...it seems that is where the problem is..and as my Dr told me, she is my "Sherlock Holmes" and she will get to the root of all that is going on.

Is it tough?

Um...yes. Extremely.

But the one thing I know I have is faith...hope....and a group of people around me that love and care so deeply about the situation.

God is good...he is keeping me in his favor...and sending me to wonderful doctors that will get to the root of it all...sooner rather than later i hope...but in his time, we will know what is up. Okay, did I mention they think i am going through menopause??? I am 34...holy cow..what a shock...but the truth is i don't care so much about the problem as I do the solution....so whatever it is, i know that the Lord will lead us all to the right way of fixing it...he's just that good:)

With that...my fingers are falling off...lol, so i  must run and get ready for my day.

Thank you ALL so much for your love and support....and patience.

x0x0

wendi speciale

B A C K!!

Doin' the happy dance.

Why?

I HAVE MY LAPTOP BACK! WAHOOO!

Now, I have to get my email all set up and will let you all know when I am  BACK to modern day mail...until then, I am just thrilled to have my internet connection and my square headed boyfriend BACK in my hot little hands:)

Now, the amount of work i have to do is insane...but...i look forward to it:) I also have my DR's appointment tomorrow....to check out all my hormone levels that are so obviously out of control.

Lots to chat about...will be around tomorrow with email and BLOGGIN'...........ahhh, how I have MISSED it so!

So much to do...so much to bang out on this lil' laptop...but wanted to pop by here first and say H I and hoping all of you are awesome:)

Decisions, Decisions

Decisions...Decisions...A Horrible Virus....and Decisions Decisions....

FIRST: Whew...it's good to feel the keys on my fingertips...I will explain later why I have been absent from the blog, email and internet world. Yes, my square headed boyfriend is in the techy hospital...more about that later...first up, an announcement about WSD.

Sunday and I have made several decisions in regards to Wendi Speciale Designs. Business is fantastic...overwhelmingly fantastic. We were at the point where it was sink or swim....and we had to sit down, put pen to paper and figure out a solution to a problem...but it was a problem anyone would like to have...meaning, lots of business, but a total lack of manpower to make it all happen the way we feel it needs to happen.

The decision has been offically made that we will be going to wholesale only. THat being said, we hope that if you enjoy our products you will ask for them at your local retail hobby stores:)

ALSO.,...i want to add that we WILL have some exciting news and another announcement in the near future about WSD and what we will offer online soon.

SO, that being said, we are not going to just go straight wholesale today...but we will offer the stamps online through the end of the month for purchase. So, if you see a stamp you love, snatch it up while you can before we hit the retail stores. In addition to wholesale only, we will be including creating the custom stamps for kit companies to add to their monthly goodies...we have been overwhelemed with that and look forward to putting a lot of our focus on creating:)

This was a difficult decsion. The exciting thing is we have invited our MUSES to design for us on a freelance basis...and have some others in mind for that as well.

Exciting future. We know this is the best move for WSD and our families...and we feel that the next round of announcements will be exciting for all of you as well.

Pray for us if you don't mind...it's always hard to make changes...but you know what we are asking ourselves?

THIS:
What decisions would you make today if you knew your God would not fail you?

This is the exact way we are approaching things. Meaning, we are Namin' it and Claimin' it...a total walk of Blind Faith based on what we feel is best for our business, our families and our faith.

We truly believe that God has us in his hand...and that all these favors he has given us in regards to WSD will be carried through...because the way it is going right now we could end up failing those favors if we do not take the horse by the reins and make some good, smart, business decisions.

Now, the scoop on where in the heck I have been....

See, I sit here on a computer....that is not mine...because my laptop was hit hard by the blackworm virus.

ack. Why, oh why do some people out there feel the need to destroy other people's things?

I had Norton. I uninstalled Norton, added McAffee. NOTHING came up as being wrong. However, having been around the computer world for a while, I knew something was wrong because my screen kept dragging and freezing....and my email? Well, even after giving up on outlook and installing Thunderbird, I STILL could not retrieve email.

SO off a hunting I went to the techy websites in search of a solution. Low and behold, I found an amazing website called www.BitDefender.com. Okay...highly recommend you use this site to scan your computers for any virus/trojan or worms that might be active on your system.

Not only did it find 4 different worms, but 3 viruses.

It's been almost two weeks and my computer is still in the hands of a local company that is having to WIPE EVERYTHING in order to restore my system.

SIgh.

So totally frustrating...so, if you ahve emailed me, I have to say they are ALL lost and I will be back and running hopefully by the end of the week...my email will remain the same, but everything is gone.

Quite a couple of weeks filled with ups and downs...but you know what? i truly feel and hope the UP is here to stay for a while.

Thank you ALL so much for your love and support regarding this diagnosis of mine. Get this...I am going to a doctor at the end of the month that help a friend of my mothers who had the exact same symptoms that I do....and she is 95% better today....and you know what was wrong with her? A total lack of Estrogen...which is intersting...considering at my last appointment with my endocrinologist I was LOW on estrogen.

I'm hangin' in there and feel truly blessed to have such an amazing support group around me. God is good, and he is showing me exactly what I need to do. I know with him ALL and I mean ALL things are possible...no matter how tough they might seem at the moment..I know he will not fail me...and that I will do everything in my heart to not fail him.

Life is good. Life is what you make it. Sometimes, we have to make decisions that are not the most comfortable, but at the same time, we know in our "gut" that it is the RIGHT decision.

Make sense?
I hope so.

Again, no email for me as my computer is not back yet, however, feel free to post any questions here about the wholesale information and online purchases through the end of the month. We also have more suprises coming in the next few days, so hang in there and stay tuned:)

I'm off...to clean up our office...because it seriously looks like a rubber machine blew up inside of it:)

Huge hugs...and serioulsy, thank you ALL for sharing your stories about my diagnosis...i feel so in the company of friends.

God Bless.

xoxoxo

ws

Thank you, friends.

can I tell you all how much better you have made me feel?

Knowing I am not alone.
Knowing that others out there understand, and really "get" it.
Knowing that I did the right thing...being obedient, trusting my faith, and blogging about something that is so personal that I know the only way i had the strength to do it was through my Lord.

It's funny, because Sunday and I were talking about it this morning, and it truly is a light that I didn't ignore this "message" from God. See, I really wanted to write it off to, "no way, that has got to be something other than the Lord talking to me...for surely he wouldn't want to share something so personal...especially when only my family and closest friends know about this.

I thought...Why here? Why now? Why share this?
But then I realized, i might not ever get the answers to that....so i had to go with my conviction and know that there *is* a reason He wants me to share this info about my situation.

When I read all of your comments, it created a huge lump in my throat....because I never would have thought so many of us are going through this...with or without meds.

I could not believe my eyes...stunned into silence with the amount of friends i have that have this..and I cannot tell you all how much your words of support and prayer means to me.

I am so frustrated because my MS Outlook (my email program) has totally and completely crash...so I am downloading Mozilla Thunderbird at the moment...because I have not been getting emails for 4 days now............................ack.................................and there are so many of you i want to email.

Just had to stop by and share...and thank each one of you....what an incredible blessing.

Thank you.
Seriously, thank you.
x0x0x
ws

Gut Level Honesty

wow.

Who's in the mood to read something really personal? I hope someone out there is...because this, my friends, is about as gut level as I can get at this point in my life...and strangely, it feels good.

Lots of stuff going on...some good...some not so good. I'm trying to focus on the positive, and as Sunday reminds me, "Put on the Armor of God".

Sometimes, things just get really overwhelming. I have a lot on my mind. I have been through a lot the past year, and often, that will catch up to you if you don't deal with the emotions.

I am the type of person that can sit here and blog about my emotions all day long...but when it comes time to talk about my emotions outloud, that is where it gets difficut for me.

I'm not sure where that comes from? I am happy to knwo that I have a lot of peope around me that support me, love me, and are very real about what I need.

What me to get gut level honest? Okay, I think that would be the right thing to do, especially if someone is reading this and might be going through the same thing.

So, here we go.

I started feeling really strange, unlike myself, about a year ago. I was experiencing some crazy anxiety...basically, ultra paranoid that something bad was going to happen. It was really strange. Then, it didn't go away, so I just kind of wrote it off to "motherhood" and all that goes along with it.

But then, a few more symptoms came. They were kind of strange, like, not wanting to make a left hand turn....how strange is that? Or, if i was on my way home, and had to sit on a bridge in my car, i would freak out, out of fear of the bridge collapsing. It was such a strange, uncomfortable and horrible feeling. But how do y ou explain that to someone without them thinking you are losing it? So, although many of my friends knew about my fears, I always joked about them and played them down. Know what I mean?

So, this was going on for a while....and then I noticed a major change in myself. A lack of happiness...which is VERY odd for me.

Finally, I came to a breaking point and decided to go and see my doctor, and i was shocked to hear that he thought I was depressed.

Depressed? Me? NO WAY! I was not, in my mind, what i thought people that were depressed were like. I was not crying all the time or anything like that. It was more of a shut down, but super anxious at the same time. Kinda lost my ability to want to socialize with people. SO NOT LIKE ME.

So how in the heck could this be depression?

What i was told is that often, diabetics like myself, run into to this. Perhaps because it is so easy for our bodies to get "off" in there chemical make up...and they believe that my brain is not making enought serotonin...which can cause you to be depressed and have what they call a "GAD" or otherwise known as a General Anxiety Disorder.

It is really difficult to blog about this....as much as I don't want to, it helps me, and hopefully will help someone else out there. It's embarrassing, it's uncomfortable, but you know what? I feel convicted to talk about this....so I know to be obedient and realize that the Lord has a purpose in my honesty with all of you.

So, I have been put on a medication...which was VERY hard for me to accept. At the same time, I was excited about it...because I knew that it was going to make me better.

I called my mom, in tears, about going on the medication. I was like, "But my faith is so strong and I feel like God can take care of this.

And then, she said something really powerful. She said, wendi, this is a disease, just like your diabetes. So, why don't you just take off your insulin pump too?

Wow.
Very powerful. Exactly what I needed to hear....because it was at that moment that I knew I needed to take this medicine. People depend on me...my husband, my son, my family...my (amazing) friends. So, they have all kinda huddled around me and assured me we are all going to get through this together.

I never thought this would happen to me. I have always been an upbeat, positive person. I never, in a million years, would have guessed all this axiety and other symptoms were realated to depression. I just thought i was stressed out...over working myself....over worrying...but the thing is, apparently, the "left hand turn" and "fear of bridges" is a tale tale sign of depression and anxiety...of which often come hand in hand.

Who would have thought? Certainly NOT me.

So, there it is...all laid out on the table. I feel better after blogging about it...because it means no more hiding...and perhaps, a level of understanding about who I am...and where I am going. My future is so bright....and I know that I have to bounce back...which I have....and move forward knowing that my God is taking care of me...leading me to decisions that I have to make...and knowing in my gut what the right one is to ensure I am healthy emotionally and physically.

Has it been tough?
You bet. The most difficult thing I have ever been through...ever.

So if you are reading this, and you have been feeling similar to what I was, I hope that you will know that the light at the end of the tunnel is NOT always a train...there is hope.

Wow. How about that? Pretty gut level, huh? But isn't that what it's about sometimes? Sharing, being 100% real, and not hiding out of fear that you will be judged?

I'm okay with it...even if I am judged by some...because you know what? I am so proud, that after many months of going through this, that I actually sought out information and a true understanding of what I am going though.

Can I tell you that if you made it this far (lol) how much I really appreciate it? I will get through this, how can I lose with God on my side.

I can't.
And for that, I am thankful today.

xoxox
wendi speciale

27????

ack!

I'm alive...super busy but alive! Must run, but wanted to say HELLO and the site is up and running. We had some maintenance we had to take care of.

HOLY COW, we are #27 today???!!!???? GOD ROCKS!

Okay, full report on the scooop tomorrow:)

ws

James Frey...Con Artist?

Mornin' All!!

So, as many of you know from my blog, I was reading the book, A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. You know the one, the Oprah's bookclub favorite.

The book is gripping, powerful and downright heartbreaking. However, the thing that makes the book so powerful for me is the author's ability to overcome.

Well, for those out there like me, that could not put this book down,  you must have been shocked by the news that the Smoking Gun reported..."A Million Little Lies".

Now, I was really fired up to read that James Frey will be on Larry King tonight. I am looking forward to hearing what he has to say about all of this. I only hope and pray the allegations from the Smoking Gun are false...one can hope.

I came to like James Frey after reading the book...often thinking of him as a true warrior. If the allegations are true, and he did not go through all of what the book reports, sure I will be disappointed. The most heinous accusation is that Frey embellished the story of a friend that was killed in a train accident.

Basically, in the book he says he was driven to the movies by his friend, Michelle's, parents. Michelle was his bestfriend, and she had made arrangements to meet another guy, Dean for a date. Frey said that her parents would not be okay with that, so he was a cover. Michelle and another firend were killed in when Dean crashed into a train.

So Frey claims that everyone in the town, including Michelle's parents, blamed him. (in the book her name is Michelle, but in reality her name is Melissa...which was no biggie to me, he changed her name i figured because he changed all the names for obvious reasons)

However, it seems the parents vaguely remember James, and say that the did not drive the two to the movies together on that dreadful evening. So yea, that's a little odd. I have a problem with it, if true, because embellishing the details of a trajic accident, for the sake of selling a book, is just downright wrong on so many levels.

Again, I am eager to see him on Larry King tonight so that I can hear his side to all of this. It's going to be really interesting.

The other claims are basically disputing his criminal record...saying that it was not near as bad as Fred led us all to believe...and that he did not spend an extended amount of time in jail. It's an interesting article on The Smoking Gun...and I have to say one of the things that blows  me away is TSG is saying that they interviewed James Frey about the allegations, and there are several quotes from him confirming the reports. But then, you see a note from his attorney threatening legal action if they go public with the story. Kinda confusing.

So, that is my tidbit for the day.

HEY! I have a couple of blogs I want to plug today for those that have not stumbled across them. First, I am an everyday reader of Scrapability. How did I find it? It was her article, "The Symbols Got Through"...yep, a rant about our "Fun With Symbols" rubber stamp kit. I was not offended at all, in fact, she went on to say that she loved our stamps...the the bracket symbols had crossed over to scrapbooking world. I thought it was great...because she was so real. So, I often check her blog to catch up with what is up...and lookie what i found yesterday while visiting....an amazing website called ScrapArtist.com that is selling these:

They have a ton of them...from these little fairies...to collage hats....to wings...to fairy tales...can I tell you how my extra money will be spent this week???? These are awesome...and I am so glad I visited Michelle's blog yesterday or I wouldn't have seen them. Love Them.

Also, i was on another awesome daily read for me,  Angie Pederson's blog, and was linked to a free typography course. Um, how cool is THAT??? Thank you Angie!

From Angie's blog I also found another great blog that I want to share since so many of you are scrapbook crazy like myself.

The blog is by Nancy Nally and is called Inside Scrapbooking. You know what I love about it? I can hop by, get the scrappin' scoop, and jet along my way. That is what I love about it. So I think this is one to watch for me. I really enjoy her writing style...and love that she is keeping us in the loop. Can't wait to see what else she brings us.

So, i've been off on a blog tanget, huh?

I guess I must run. I will tell you all that we have some groovy FREEBIES coming to WSD soon...i am so fired up about this i could spill it now...but can't.

But I will tell you to have a great day...and remember NO JOY STEALERS!

x0x0x0

wendi speciale

James Frey...Con Artist?

Mornin' All!!

So, as many of you know from my blog, I was reading the book, A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. You know the one, the Oprah's bookclub favorite.

The book is gripping, powerful and downright heartbreaking. However, the thing that makes the book so powerful for me is the author's ability to overcome.

Well, for those out there like me, that could not put this book down,  you must have been shocked by the news that the Smoking Gun reported..."A Million Little Lies".

Now, I was really fired up to read that James Frey will be on Larry King tonight. I am looking forward to hearing what he has to say about all of this. I only hope and pray the allegations from the Smoking Gun are false...one can hope.

I came to like James Frey after reading the book...often thinking of him as a true warrior. If the allegations are true, and he did not go through all of what the book reports, sure I will be disappointed. The most heinous accusation is that Frey embellished the story of a friend that was killed in a train accident.

Basically, in the book he says he was driven to the movies by his friend, Michelle's, parents. Michelle was his bestfriend, and she had made arrangements to meet another guy, Dean for a date. Frey said that her parents would not be okay with that, so he was a cover. Michelle and another firend were killed in when Dean crashed into a train.

So Frey claims that everyone in the town, including Michelle's parents, blamed him. (in the book her name is Michelle, but in reality her name is Melissa...which was no biggie to me, he changed her name i figured because he changed all the names for obvious reasons)

However, it seems the parents vaguely remember James, and say that the did not drive the two to the movies together on that dreadful evening. So yea, that's a little odd. I have a problem with it, if true, because embellishing the details of a trajic accident, for the sake of selling a book, is just downright wrong on so many levels.

Again, I am eager to see him on Larry King tonight so that I can hear his side to all of this. It's going to be really interesting.

The other claims are basically disputing his criminal record...saying that it was not near as bad as Fred led us all to believe...and that he did not spend an extended amount of time in jail. It's an interesting article on The Smoking Gun...and I have to say one of the things that blows  me away is TSG is saying that they interviewed James Frey about the allegations, and there are several quotes from him confirming the reports. But then, you see a note from his attorney threatening legal action if they go public with the story. Kinda confusing.

So, that is my tidbit for the day.

HEY! I have a couple of blogs I want to plug today for those that have not stumbled across them. First, I am an everyday reader of Scrapability. How did I find it? It was her article, "The Symbols Got Through"...yep, a rant about our "Fun With Symbols" rubber stamp kit. I was not offended at all, in fact, she went on to say that she loved our stamps...the the bracket symbols had crossed over to scrapbooking world. I thought it was great...because she was so real. So, I often check her blog to catch up with what is up...and lookie what i found yesterday while visiting....an amazing website called ScrapArtist.com that is selling these:

They have a ton of them...from these little fairies...to collage hats....to wings...to fairy tales...can I tell you how my extra money will be spent this week???? These are awesome...and I am so glad I visited Michelle's blog yesterday or I wouldn't have seen them. Love Them.

Also, i was on another awesome daily read for me,  Angie Pederson's blog, and was linked to a free typography course. Um, how cool is THAT??? Thank you Angie!

From Angie's blog I also found another great blog that I want to share since so many of you are scrapbook crazy like myself.

The blog is by Nancy Nally and is called Inside Scrapbooking. You know what I love about it? I can hop by, get the scrappin' scoop, and jet along my way. That is what I love about it. So I think this is one to watch for me. I really enjoy her writing style...and love that she is keeping us in the loop. Can't wait to see what else she brings us.

So, i've been off on a blog tanget, huh?

I guess I must run. I will tell you all that we have some groovy FREEBIES coming to WSD soon...i am so fired up about this i could spill it now...but can't.

But I will tell you to have a great day...and remember NO JOY STEALERS!

x0x0x0

wendi speciale

changed her name i figured because he changed all the names for obvious reasons)