Insert Carnival Music Here. Loop.

Yea, cause that is what it feels like.

A big, crowded, dirty, smelly carnival.

You know the type.

Loud.
Hectic.
Seemed like a good idea at the time kind of fun.

So this morning, I decided I want to stay home.
Not attend the carnival.
Stay clean.
Stay peaceful.
Stay true to who I am.

My mom and i were talking last night about my situation. We both laughed knowing i don't have it in me to "out" people. I just don't. I could type the names a million times yet never publish the truth.

As bad as I want to, something keeps me from it.

"Whether you turn to the right or to the let, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way; Walk in it." -Isaiah 30:21

Yea, i feel pretty confident that the verse above is what keeps me from it.

Here's the thing. I had no idea some big "scandal" was happening with the Hall of Fame contest. Quite frankly, I think it is actually a pretty silly deal.

Let me clarify.
No, I don't take anything away from those that entered the contest and are really upset. But what about the people that didn't even enter the contest and are enraged...ranting...devoting such enormous portions of their days to being angry about it?

Come on, really.
I see people saying, "She Cheated!" I feel so strange...like, embarrassed for them because it sounds so silly...juvenile. Cheating? That's a little harsh given the circumstances and situation at hand.

When i read a "She Cheated!" post i don't even glance over at the poster's user name.

Why?
Because I don't even want to know who said it due to the fact that it just might be someone I respected before.

Look, I do not know the HOF winners...I've been out of the loop for so long, and quite frankly, I usually know people by their user names and not their real names. However, I know Kristina Contes now. I have looked at her amazing work. She is incredibly talented. I even found  my way over to her blog. Gasp, people were saying, "her language is horrible."....couldn't help but wonder if these were the same people saying "Right On!" to Donna Downey's post exclaiming, "SHIT!"....I love Donna think she is amazingly talented...and oh so real. Isn't that why we adore her? She's real.

Just as Kristina Contes was being in her recent post regarding the HOF contest.

So in the disqualification, the photo was the issue?
Who is really to blame for it?
I would be willing to bet this has happened a number of times. I would also be willing to bet that rules have been violated in the past, most likely by an adored artist that entered. Did people dare not say anything then? If  not, why? If so, why? Isn't this really about something else all together for those that are making this SUCH AN UGLY DEAL?
In the grand scheme of things, who really cares? Who devoted such a large portion of their lives on being angry about it? Is it time that could have been better well spent?
Why become so engulfed in something that really has no real effect on our lives?

Is it for some people, you know the ones, an opportunity to rip on someone talented?

I think so.
Too often, the really talented artists will be ripped to shreds. When it starts, it is as if the angry beasts jump out of their bushes and attack their prey. The have silently stalked them, having no ability to look away from their beautiful work. They cannot look away from the pages of compliments that their prey has received. The prey...the enemy...for what? Talent? The moment the first hunter jumps out, the pack is on it like they have never eaten before.

The head that hangs low now lifts in justification: Aha! It was not just me! The "leader" has attacked and now we must destroy.

Attack.
Bite.
Pull.
Make it Hurt.
Make 'em bleed with regret that they ever stepped foot in front of us.
Shred.
Humiliate.
And finally, sit back in the "sun" and let it all digest.
While the broken prey wonders if they will ever recover.

But they rise.
And the pack?
They cannot believe their eyes.
How?
How can they rise again?
How can they be so brave as to show us their strength?

The prey knows.
The pack is weak.
That is why they travel in a pack.
For without each other...
they stand alone.

Cowards.
Silent.
Resentful.
Wishing they had what the prey has...

Talent.
Strength.
Dignity.
Integrity.
For the prey? They are true to themselves.
They do not need a pack.

And the hunters?
I pray that one day they will know the pride that comes from strength.
For with it, you can stand alone.

You can experience joys you never imagined.
You can lift people up...vs. tearing them down...and realize how much more comes from it.
You can surround yourself with good...and fewer your friends may be, but your life will overflow with meaning.

Understanding.
Kindness.
Faith.
Gratitude.

In light of all that is going on in my life and others with regards to the industry, I end this with a final though for those that are being preyed upon as well as for the hunters...

They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil. They are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things....they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them." -Romans 1:29-32

Which "side" will you be on today?
Me?

Well, let's just put it this way...I woke up, ignored my computer, spent my morning making halloween french toast...which was a blast and such a treat for my son. Making him feel extra special in that way feels so good. Seeing the look on his face...the surprise, the happiness...the laughter and the heartfelt, "thank you mommy!" is what life is about.

It is the best place for me to find happiness. Not a contest. Not in outing others for their wrong doings.

It's living this life for the things that are truly important. It's taking in every morsel of self respect, and solidifying yourself as the wonderful mother and friend  you are and can be...if you are willing to shun the drama..and create your own daily destiny.

It's finding the joy in the little things...but the only place they may seem small is for others. Me? I know that a halloween breakfast when it is not halloween is not a little thing to a five year old boy.

I know that soaking in the sunshine might be a little thing to others, but as I sat there today, watching Tate dig for God knows what, I reveled in the beauty of it all....A little boy,, with his dogs...playing. This is life I thought.

This is what truly effects me. This. Not harping on something that is really...well, just not important to me today.

Often i am asked what inspires me. It's never drama. It's never watching someone else's anger. It's not resentments or past hurts.

It's life.
It's realizing one day will to look back, and think...what "little" things do i wish I would have done more often? It's what this morning was about. And I must say, I have never, ever felt so strongly about a lesson...because it came so quietly...and so profoundly.

Life is what we make it.
Life is about choices.
Hard choices.

It's about being hunted.
It's about being the prey that can slowly recover and move forward...onward if you will...into the hope that there is so much more for us than this live.

It's living a life the way we know we should. And teaching our children the same. Who would I want Tate to see me as? The angry blogger that blasts what happened and who did it? Or the person that will rise, quietly walk away with a head held high, because I know the person I am...and where I am going today.

And at the moment.
It's outside.
To revel in the greatness of it all.
Because my choices today...excuse me from turmoil.
The offer me joy.
With my son.
Why would I want choose anything else today?

I don't.
So I am on my way out.

I hope you are too.
-ws

Comments

[Molly P]

Wendy, you took the words right out of my mouth!

[Linda]

Jennifer I don't think Wendy is saying you shouldn't raise complaints. What you did is sane and logical - cancel subscriptions, express your complaint logically to the business.

I think what Wendy is referring to are the people who have glued themselves to the computer for a week now and overstepped the mark from opinion and consumer advocate into "rabid lunatic" to quote someone ;-)

And if you haven't seen them out there than count yourself lucky.

Quite bluntly, if you feel confident with your actions then I don't think you should feel defensive about Wendy's words. And certainly not judged.

You said it yourself "So, yes, there are some over-reactors out there".

I think there is where Wendy's comments start and end. On the over-reactors.

[Jennifer in GA]

I appreciate your thoughts, Wendi, but I'm not sure you are seeing the whole picture from the average scrapper's point of view.

I'm not sure how long you've been out of the loop, but in the past few months the average scrapper has just been beaten up and taken for granted by people *who should know better*. We've been told that to voice a complaint about a service or product just means that we are unhappy with our own lives and we should just suck it up.

We've been told that it's no big deal to pay $300 for a class and receive second rate products (or no product at all) and have a teacher who acts unprofessionally because hey- it was *only* $300!

We've paid for subscriptions for years even though some months our magazines don't show up at all. We've paid for conventions- $15 to get in the door, $20 per class, $10 for an all-night crop- where the teachers preferred to visit with their friends then, you know, actually teach their class.

For many people, this HOF debacle was the straw that broke the camel's back. People were told to make their entries a certain way and in return they would have just as good a shot as anyone else at winning the contest. Except, that's not true. Not by a long shot.

In the end, talent had nothing to do with it. It was all about who you knew. Yes, it has happened before. But that doesn't make it right.

Yes, Kristina Contes is enormously talented. It's a shame she didn't thoroughly read the rules she was agreeing to follow. And it's also a shame that she has become the scapper not known for her work, but instead because she likes to cuss on her blog and scrapbook pages.

So, yes, there are some over-reactors out there. But for the most part, people are just FED UP with the whole industry. We are tired of our time and money being taken for granted.

You are absolutely right- Life is about choices. In the past month I have *chosen* not to buy anymore CK or SS products. I have cancelled my subscriptions. I have removed my name from their mailing lists as well the BPS list. And most importantly, I have chosen to take a stand and let people know how I feel about it.

The status quo would have remained had people done as you advise and just walked away, saying nothing. It is not for you to judge people and call them cowards. It is not for you to judge anyone's intentions, just as I have chosen not to judge yours.